God Help Me

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About four years into my brother’s quadriplegia, he had to go into the hospital to have a major surgery; one of dozens to come in his life. His stay was about five months. He has a roommate who was in a coma. His name was Brian. Again, this was a young man of about 24 in the prime of his life. We watched his family come in once a week as they lived out of town, and coming to see him regularly was difficult. Their pain and love was clear and very heartbreaking. The Dr.’s prognosis was dismal. They did not expect him to regain consciousness; but the parents were not ready to let go.

Beside his bed was a guitar. Apparently music was his life. Because I was visiting Phillip on a daily basis, I would often help the nurses by swabbing Brian’s mouth, brushing his teeth, washing his hair, etc. I would always try to talk to him and say positive things. I got to a point where I would split the visit between my brother and him. Every now and then Brian’s eyes would open and look right at me, rather fiercely; and I would call the nurse, who would say – no change, this is just reflex. So, I continued for four months, beginning to believe that this young man would never come back to life. Sometimes it is nice to have other things to occupy you when you are visiting someone on such a regular basis, so I found the diversion a blessing.
About a week before my brother was to be released from the hospital after recuperating from his surgery, I was visiting and swabbing Brian’s mouth. I was talking to him as though he understood every word I was saying. Reminding him that his family loved him, he had much more life to live, his guitar was waiting for him, etc … All of the sudden he opened his eyes, looked straight at me and said, …
“Do you ever shut up”?

It was one of the most memorable moments of my life. Needless to say, his family was overwhelmed with joy; he was out before my brother exited the hospital – and the truth is, while he later apologized, it was pretty clear that he didn’t like me at all. I thanked him for giving me something to do while I was visiting my brother. I was so very happy for him and it is one of my fondest memories.